Well, actually just today and yesterday, I was reminded of how much I can't stand being talked down to. Some people have this thing, if they're over 35 or 40, and this thing goes like this: They think it's okay to talk down to me because I'm in my twenties.
I admit it was a lot worse when I was 20 than it has been over the last few years. I'm becoming a shit head about it, lately. I seriously wonder if my standards of rude behavior are just too high for some people. While I am most definitely not the highest example of socially acceptable, there are some things that I think are rude on an instinctual, moral level. Things that quite literally dumbfound me when they're done or said, and that is actually pretty hard to do.
I admit it was a lot worse when I was 20 than it has been over the last few years. I'm becoming a shit head about it, lately. I seriously wonder if my standards of rude behavior are just too high for some people. While I am most definitely not the highest example of socially acceptable, there are some things that I think are rude on an instinctual, moral level. Things that quite literally dumbfound me when they're done or said, and that is actually pretty hard to do.
In other news, and I know I said I would not be posting anything highly personal or dramatic, but damn it's on my mind. I guess it's not that dramatic. I had these plans for the night, which I carried out nicely. The plans went like this: Get coffee, go to class, get more coffee, go shoot pool, get even more coffee. What actually happened was this: Got coffee, went to class, got more coffee, talked to people, went to shoot pool, got weird phone calls, now drinking even more coffee.
Which of these things is not like the others?
Right. The weird phone calls are out of place. Of course you can't plan around them. You can't sit down and say, "If you have something throwed off to tell me, don't call me Mondays."
Well I guess you could. Or I could, but that's a lot of calling people to tell them something kind of stupid.
So I was driving to the pool hall when the first phone call happened. It was my ex. So he calls me every once and a while. Which is cool, I like to talk to him still. So I answer the phone. He doesn't say hi, how are you? None of that shit (chalk this up above as something I consider rude).
He just asked me what I was doing. So I told him, "I'm on my way to shoot some pool." Insert superficial conversation. Out of the blue, he says, "When you were pregnant, what process did you go through for insurance and stuff?"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Him: "You know. When you were pregnant. How did you get your stuff taken care of?"
*Pause*
This is thrown off right here because we haven't talked about me being pregnant since I was pregnant. Long story short, I was pregnant, my body can't take the hormones, so I had to abort. What he specifically wanted to know about was the end result.
*Continue*
Me: "Well she has to go to DHS (Department of Human Services) file some paper work, oh wait. She also has to go to like a women's clinic to get a pregnancy test and get paper work from them. To prove it."
This is when he started talking me in circles. Yes medicaid covers abortions, as far as I know. We talked about price, all that shit.
What gets me. Are you serious?
I'm okay with the fact he left me for someone else. I'm okay with the fact that there was always something in his life that he loved more than me. I'm okay with a lot of shit. I'm even okay with the whole fact that he walked out of my life for someone else, and called me when that didn't quite work out for him (he didn't leave me for the one that's pregnant now).
Also, when I'd asked if she wanted it, he said no, and followed it with, "I don't want to have a child with her."
Like I somehow failed. At least, that's how I feel right now. Maybe I'm just taking all this too personally.
That's all I got. If I think about this anymore, I think I'm going to cry. Mainly, because I'm angry.
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