Most people who read this blog that I know of know that I'm in recovery. Hopefully most people who read it now have gotten to and read the post about my sobriety birthday back in August. So. Yeah. If you didn't know, now you do.
I was in a meeting just a while ago and was reminded about something. I didn't know where to write it, so I thought I'd just write about it here. I should write more, privately I suppose. Anyway, what we were discussing was Gossip. I'm not sure if what I do personally can be considered as gossip. Yes I talk about the people in my life and events that surround me, but I don't repeat nor talk about things that I wasn't present for. Whether or not a recounting of my own experience counts as gossip, I'm not sure. In the definition, the word hearsay comes up. Which, hearsay denotes that the person gossiping wasn't around for the actual occurrence.
One thing this topic did remind me of was why I left my old home group. We have a saying. Never say anything in a meeting you don't want all of AA in Austin to know. For the most part it's true. Alcoholics talk. Things get around.
Anyway, so a couple years ago I was living with this guy. I probably shouldn't have been, because he drinks and does drugs. But, whatever, I figured it was my choice, and OH MY GOD I WAS IN LOVE. Some people just don't understand. The point is, it was my choice, and I was aware of the things that went on while I was sleeping. I was aware of what went on while I wasn't there. Somehow, the word got out at my old home group. I didn't say anything. I don't remember telling anyone anything about this situation. Because I know not to say anything unless I want everyone in Austin to know. I talked to my sponsor about it a lot. I talked to close friends. I know the source of how the information that got leaked. It was my mother. Surprise surprise.
Even after I left him, moved out, and started rebuilding everything, people still came up to me and said some pretty mean spirited things. I'm not sure if it was their way of saying, "Hey, I love you, you should think about what you're doing." But it sure didn't sound like it. Whatever's wrong with, "Hey, I love you. You should think about what you're doing"? Honestly, some people walked up to me and said some pretty cruel things, and it was totally uncalled for. So I left. I was tired of defending this. I mean, I don't know why I felt the need to defend my actions, other than the fact that they were my own; that people have the right to be wrong; that I had the right to be wrong; it wasn't there life. True or not. It wasn't anyone's business.
I found a new home group. I'd forgotten for a long time. But it makes me want to watch my own actions to see if what it is I am saying is indeed gossip. Because if things like what was said to me come out of my mouth, then yes, yes I do need to take a look at what I'm saying. Now that I've remembered again why I don't go to the same group I used to go to when I got sober, I'm sad. It just pains me that people who claim to try and help other people will go to such lengths to tear others down. That's all for now. I just had to write. Before I forgot. Again.
I was in a meeting just a while ago and was reminded about something. I didn't know where to write it, so I thought I'd just write about it here. I should write more, privately I suppose. Anyway, what we were discussing was Gossip. I'm not sure if what I do personally can be considered as gossip. Yes I talk about the people in my life and events that surround me, but I don't repeat nor talk about things that I wasn't present for. Whether or not a recounting of my own experience counts as gossip, I'm not sure. In the definition, the word hearsay comes up. Which, hearsay denotes that the person gossiping wasn't around for the actual occurrence.
One thing this topic did remind me of was why I left my old home group. We have a saying. Never say anything in a meeting you don't want all of AA in Austin to know. For the most part it's true. Alcoholics talk. Things get around.
Anyway, so a couple years ago I was living with this guy. I probably shouldn't have been, because he drinks and does drugs. But, whatever, I figured it was my choice, and OH MY GOD I WAS IN LOVE. Some people just don't understand. The point is, it was my choice, and I was aware of the things that went on while I was sleeping. I was aware of what went on while I wasn't there. Somehow, the word got out at my old home group. I didn't say anything. I don't remember telling anyone anything about this situation. Because I know not to say anything unless I want everyone in Austin to know. I talked to my sponsor about it a lot. I talked to close friends. I know the source of how the information that got leaked. It was my mother. Surprise surprise.
Even after I left him, moved out, and started rebuilding everything, people still came up to me and said some pretty mean spirited things. I'm not sure if it was their way of saying, "Hey, I love you, you should think about what you're doing." But it sure didn't sound like it. Whatever's wrong with, "Hey, I love you. You should think about what you're doing"? Honestly, some people walked up to me and said some pretty cruel things, and it was totally uncalled for. So I left. I was tired of defending this. I mean, I don't know why I felt the need to defend my actions, other than the fact that they were my own; that people have the right to be wrong; that I had the right to be wrong; it wasn't there life. True or not. It wasn't anyone's business.
I found a new home group. I'd forgotten for a long time. But it makes me want to watch my own actions to see if what it is I am saying is indeed gossip. Because if things like what was said to me come out of my mouth, then yes, yes I do need to take a look at what I'm saying. Now that I've remembered again why I don't go to the same group I used to go to when I got sober, I'm sad. It just pains me that people who claim to try and help other people will go to such lengths to tear others down. That's all for now. I just had to write. Before I forgot. Again.
3 mindless chatters:
I'm not even sure you belong in AA. AA requires you to declare yourself as powerless and turn everything over to God. It's a religion. Not only that, but AA has the same success rate as any other method of sobriety including quitting on one's own. But I'm sure you knew all this already. If people there are going to treat you like that, I'd recommend staying sober without them. You can do it. I believe in you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for a Halloween party at the bar tonight. 'Course that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.
You know. Seeing as how you've never met me and don't really know a fucking thing about me, I guess it's easy for you to say what I need or don't need.
Wow, Ceej, or whatever the fuck your name is. You are a complete and total jack ass, and an idiot.
Yeah, you go to that halloween party at the bar. I hope you get fucking plastered and wrap you fucking car around a telephone pole you fucking up waste of existence.
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