To appreciate The Smashing Pumpkins.
To balance my cheque book.
To want to settle down a bit. Maybe not -settle- and perhaps not get get -married- but settle down nonetheless.
I've been going through a lot of internal stuff lately. Not fun. The more I experience, the more I think I was really bad in a past life or god's got a sick sense of humor. I don't even know how to explain it. Part of me feels selfish. Really fucking selfish. Part of me feels as though it's perfectly okay, and probably normal, to feel the way I've been feeling about the situations around me. Most affect me directly. Some are just residue. That's cool. I can hang with that. For the most part.
I'm not even sure how to explain it. Or that I want to yet. By the time it's processed and uploaded, I'm pretty sure I'll be over it. I kinda think I'm PMSing, too. I've been a tad more emotional than what I'm used to. I feel like a dumb girl. I also feel, however, that maybe my upbringing or beliefs are way different from the people around me. More and more often I'm stopped in my tracks by someone's blatant rude behavior. For the most part I'm unsure about how much I actually care about the outcome of the situation, I'm usually stuck on the part where someone's rudeness slighted me.
I'm going to live through this. Even if it kills me.
It's time to take an inventory of the people in my life. Totally. It's time to cut some people, and try and draw other people closer in. The people who care for me, who love me, and are at my side through thick in thin. Those are the people I need. They're the people I desire. They're the ones more deserving of my love, well, love in general, than anyone else. The people who think it's okay to justify an action using some lame excuse or reason, who back stab, who are untrustworthy, and the douche bags have got to go.
But.. I hate being rude to people. Ugh.
To balance my cheque book.
To want to settle down a bit. Maybe not -settle- and perhaps not get get -married- but settle down nonetheless.
I've been going through a lot of internal stuff lately. Not fun. The more I experience, the more I think I was really bad in a past life or god's got a sick sense of humor. I don't even know how to explain it. Part of me feels selfish. Really fucking selfish. Part of me feels as though it's perfectly okay, and probably normal, to feel the way I've been feeling about the situations around me. Most affect me directly. Some are just residue. That's cool. I can hang with that. For the most part.
I'm not even sure how to explain it. Or that I want to yet. By the time it's processed and uploaded, I'm pretty sure I'll be over it. I kinda think I'm PMSing, too. I've been a tad more emotional than what I'm used to. I feel like a dumb girl. I also feel, however, that maybe my upbringing or beliefs are way different from the people around me. More and more often I'm stopped in my tracks by someone's blatant rude behavior. For the most part I'm unsure about how much I actually care about the outcome of the situation, I'm usually stuck on the part where someone's rudeness slighted me.
I'm going to live through this. Even if it kills me.
It's time to take an inventory of the people in my life. Totally. It's time to cut some people, and try and draw other people closer in. The people who care for me, who love me, and are at my side through thick in thin. Those are the people I need. They're the people I desire. They're the ones more deserving of my love, well, love in general, than anyone else. The people who think it's okay to justify an action using some lame excuse or reason, who back stab, who are untrustworthy, and the douche bags have got to go.
But.. I hate being rude to people. Ugh.
1 mindless chatters:
"I'm not even sure how to explain it. Or that I want to yet. By the time it's processed and uploaded, I'm pretty sure I'll be over it. I kinda think I'm PMSing, too. I've been a tad more emotional than what I'm used to. I feel like a dumb girl. I also feel, however, that maybe my upbringing or beliefs are way different from the people around me. More and more often I'm stopped in my tracks by someone's blatant rude behavior. For the most part I'm unsure about how much I actually care about the outcome of the situation, I'm usually stuck on the part where someone's rudeness slighted me."
That sounds as if I wrote it myself. I know EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL!
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