Waking Coma

I feel more and more, as the dust settles and I settle back into who and what I am, the world around me is different. While I've tried to pinpoint when the changes in my brain started to occur, it's next to impossible as the actual occurrences are so subtle. All I really have to go on is the decline of my mental state and social life, which was about 5 years ago. At first, there wasn't anything major. I gradually stopped doing what I had always done; hanging at the coffee shop, following Melissa around. Looking back, at the end, all my insides were clouded. My soul was shriveled, dying. 

The waking coma I've been wondering aimlessly in for the last three years in particular is the most difficult to come to terms with. Most of my life changes happened in this time. I'm still analyzing and trying to piece things together. I'm finally making progress on grieving the loss of my mother, and someone else who was very dear to me who died during this time. 

I feel like I've woken up, after all this time, and the world I left is gone. 

While I question many things, while I explore and examine each module, there are still good things. This is just a very much anticipated time of introspection. I've got my scary intuition back. I have my Light back. I have something else that I'm unsure of what it is. I know I didn't have it before. It feels like the wind and the rain, and it is the solid foundation for the strength within me.